Early morning getting close to the end of my shift a message comes from my wife. It reads, your son didn’t sleep and has a fever. That is it, no other details. Now me being a nurse I want more information to help make a better decision. All the questions I have can’t be answered and it will be too many to ask my wife, as she is most likely nervous, tired and worried based on the situation. I need to be precise in my questions, so I ask is he taking fluids? What is his current temperature and the last time he took Tylenol. This gives me a good amount, because taking fluids will let me know he is most likely holding onto his fluid intake. The temperature is determining if Tylenol is adequate enough to help break the fever, so he doesn’t run too hot for too long. The other information I got is he is congested and took Claritin the night before.
Now to help my wife have a game plan, because her reaching out to me is one she wants to inform me and two she wants to make sure we make the best decision for our son. I feel encouraging fluids as today will be hot, keep the Tylenol up till the afternoon as it will be hot today and it will help him be comfortable. When to worry is if he doesn’t take fluids and starts losing too much fluids and/or if his temperature peaks 103 and cannot be lowered.
I share this story because we are in a time where fear from a specific virus is real. The sickness this virus produces is a real threat, I experience it firsthand as an Intensive Care Unit nurse. These are valid concerns, but this is not the only thing in our world that can make us sick. Now with my child sick and the possibility of having to take him to a medical facility is real, we need to plan for this scenario. I have worked the full 12-hour night shift and was up all day previously, so my cognitive impairment is real and going to happen. But sleeping at home while the wife takes our son in for initial assessment while our older daughter is stays home with me is the best choice for a couple of reasons. One if he needs to be admitted to an acute care, I can spend the night with him and two the first initial assessment I will be too fatigued to be any help at this point. Thinking and planning for this possibility sucks. it truly does because having a sick child in general sucks.
As of writing this my son is breaking his fever, eating and drinking food and relaxing for the better part of the day. Sleeping will be tough tonight as his sinuses are full and will make him uncomfortable during the night, but it looks like he will be recovering tomorrow too and by Monday he will be his full self again. This is good news.
This leads me into a topic that I have been thinking about and want to discuss. The separation of family from the hospital of a sick loved one. This has been stressful on families and I speak for myself but for me too as a primary care giver. I receive phone calls from worried family members, and we do our best to really only speak to one spokesperson for the family so we are not burdened with phone calls and can perform the care needed for our patients. This is tough because it is saying no, I am not going to talk to you, and this is usually a loved one that is worried and cares about their sick family member. It doesn’t even have to be direct family members we get close friends calling too. This is difficult for me as my role has put more emphasis on providing emotional support for the sick patients we are caring for. This means building a trusting professional relationship and using emotional intelligence. Our work is already considered mentally and physically tasking but adding more to our routine has me even more energy depleted. This is because I care and want to provide an environment that fosters healing, safety, comfort and the feeling of someone in this busy crazy place does take the time to think about me and my wellbeing.
With families mostly absent in the hospital for that support, it has been left up to the primary nurse to provide that bridge and comfort for the patients left in a single bed room pretty much all by themselves with multiple of strangers entering, asking questions, poking, probing when one is in a vulnerable state, not to mention the loss of dignity that one must feel with all these eyes looking not from a distance but up close and personal. Very real and something I always think about when I am working and providing care for that patient.
What is my point? Where am I going with this? Honestly, I am unsure and have so many thoughts and tangents I can write a full essay or more about this topic. Even finding support for the arguments would not be difficult. The point I am trying to solidify is how having an emotional attachment to a loved one is how we help each other through tough times by being by their side and when we can’t be by their side, we can feel helpless. This is how I felt when I got the message from my wife regarding out child having a fever. This feeling must be similar to how families feel when they call and ask about their loved ones.
