Yes, I have been absent from posting to this blog and even my social media I have been absent. Doesn’t mean I have not been thinking about doing posts or wanting to provide more content, I was not in the right mindset to post anything. From being really sicks and sluggish it put a negative attitude on everything I did. It was difficult to stay positive when my whole lifestyle changed because I was sick.
My sickness put me in bed for three plus days. I still have not fully recovered and I have not exercised since. I did start stretching and I can do more each day and I am working on a project on the home that I will share once I finish, and this will be in a few weeks when I get a chance to paint. What I am trying to say is I am back, and my mind is finally cleared from the fog it had. Most likely I had covid, but I never tested. A bunch of coworkers and people I have been around all tested positive for covid. I did isolate to reduce the spread.
I did learn something from being sick. The worst day I did not even want to live, it was that bad. I had to get up twice to drive and pick up one kid from school. Getting up an hour to pop Tylenol was difficult let alone driving. I forced myself up every so often to drink fluids and go to the bathroom. Every moment I felt like I just completed a triathlon giving it my 150% during the race. What I did learn is that I still have sadness and negative thoughts and when I am not feeling well those thoughts are more prevalent. I do believe its ok to have those thoughts as they are normal, but it’s what we do with those thoughts. During my sickness those thoughts were overwhelming, and I really did just want to die. Now that I am feeling better, glad I am still alive to live another day. Makes me appreciate life and what I have around me.
Where are we today. Last I talked about was meeting a girl for the first time and it was great. Since then, I have seen her a few more times and talk pretty much daily. We have learned a lot about each other, and we did plan on getting together with our children but unfortunately after I was sick, she got covid, most likely from her work as a lot of her students and co teachers are out with covid too. I believe the relationship is headed in a positive direction. We both think we deserve the best and want to be with someone who is going to treat us the way we want to be treated. That fact we are still chatting and making plans to see each other is a good thing.
My feelings about her. Before I talk about that I want to set the tone. I have trust issues, and this stems from when I was growing up in a broken family. Even my divorce caused more trust issues. My ex did not cheat on me but left and broke up the family. Letting someone back into my life has been difficult but I am learning and willing to try. I do not want to go fast but this is where I am with her. You can say I am scared of being hurt again. I am growing feelings for her and want to let her into my life, and I am making an effort for this to happen. She is a kind person, thoughtful, fun and focuses on family. She has a good friend base, and she is content with her work. She thinks about others and makes an effort to be with her friends and family. She is a calm person, I don’t feel she does not over react but thinks about things and processes the information.
Where will this relationship go, I am not sure but at this moment we are still making plans to see each other and do things together. It is a bit difficult during the holidays and we both have kids, work and obligations and I am working a little extra for the rest of the month and that puts a damper on things too. I want to continue to grow our relationship and I am happy to stay that.
Being positive during this whole process has been a bit difficult. I struggled after the first meeting and wanted to run away. I did slow my communication down with her, but I realized I like her, why push her away. I am still opening my door for her and it’s been good. I am happy to say I like her and want to spend time with her.
Getting my daily habits back on track has put smiles on my face. I am not exercising like I was before, but I started stretching again and doing more productive things instead of just sitting around. Granted I get tired really easy, I surfed one day when it was big for one hour and it was good, but I was shaking tired after the one hour. No wipeouts and all the weight training I did showed to help. I plan on getting back into the full routine, but I do not want to get sick again. Easing myself back into things!
We all have bumps in the road and getting back on track can be difficult. If life was not difficult then what joys and happiness can manifest from it? Just because something is difficult doesn’t mean we should give up, we can overcome the challenges. Learning from each encounter and growing as a person!
